Super Friday!
The day before vacation.
Nothing feels like it. Two weeks total for the year.
I couldn’t wait.
Upon arrival I check in, get changed and then vacation begins.
Day 2.
I start to feel off.
Day 3.
I am sick.
Every vacation.
My wife would always point it out.
Every real break my body would collapse on cue.
Even my wedding weekend.
I would always tell myself it was bad luck.
The longer I worked, the more I paid attention to how I felt.
I felt inflamed, and sometimes I actually was.
My fatigue was bad enough that the eight espressos a day couldn’t remedy it.
Sore joints from the daily wear.
Dry rashed skin, not from neglect.
My mental health was eroding beneath all of it.
I normalized each of these because my profession normalized them.
The physical and mental feed each other.
Mornings and evenings were the worst.
Either I had the whole day ahead to trudge through, or I had to do this again tomorrow.
Not feeling well made these moments difficult.
I started and finished with a deficit. Working out of a hole.
I did very well at keeping everyone else in good spirits as I neglected my own.
The physical pain mostly took charge of my attention. The thing that I wasn’t able to see was that my mental health was tied to the physical.
There were days when I wondered if I could keep the cycle going.
I felt off but wore my best mask.
Still being able to perform during these bouts made this even more unnerving.
Feeling like I can’t make coffee and then still pulling off a gala for a few thousand.
Then the itching, the rashes, and the sores.
I just work way too much. Of course I don’t feel good.
The things we tell ourselves. This was the common story I would tell myself before I returned to the grind.
I knew something was wrong. I went to all my appointments.
Asked all the questions and never seemed to get anywhere.
I started getting tests.
My GP, my dermatologist, specialists. Blood and allergy tests. Biopsies.
Finally after about 10 years, I went to an oral surgeon for another test.
He looked at my mouth and said, “I bet you have an autoimmune disease,” and then proceeded to remove a piece of the inside of my cheek.
“He was right, the biopsy confirmed I had an autoimmune condition.”
What the Diagnosis Explained
Discovering there was an issue should have been a relief. In a way it was.
Ironically, it added more stress to a stress problem.
It helped explain why I was having such terrible pain in addition to the overall fatigue and mental health challenges.
Mental and physical were interconnected more than I credited.
I believed for years that my stress was a big reason for the diagnosis.
While most studies are observational, and it can’t be proved for one person, there is a conviction that comes from knowing your body.
I couldn’t separate the percentage of my health attributed to disease and stress, I believe that stress was a driver and catalyst for much of the issues I was having.
The surgeon who read my results mentioned that while the information was not certain, stress is a large factor for flare ups and potentially a cause for the condition itself. This is his view, not settled science.
Stress can be useful.
It is an efficient response to an immediate demand.
The trouble is stress that is demanded repeatedly.
Research from one team offers a picture of how that can work. Researchers exposed healthy adults to a cold virus. The people who have lived through a long-term stressor, were more likely to get sick, and their cells responded less to the body’s signal to switch inflammation off.1
It studied colds in healthy people, not autoimmune disease, so I’m not claiming it explains mine.
But it does give a plausible picture of how repeated stress could change the way body handles inflamation.
How I Went After It
The treatments helped numb acute attacks until they subsided.
They never could cure the issue.
Doctors never gave me a plan for preventing the next one.
So I researched the condition on my own and made changes based on the findings, to help minimize my stress and decrease episodes.
I just didn’t know at the time, but that’s where Forever Longevity started.
The biggest thing I discovered was how detrimental poor sleep was.
So I went all in trying to achieve that. I changed my diet and started working out. After reading and hearing it would help, I started fasting.
I made several other changes. I became my own experiment.
In my experience, making all these changes did improve the way the disease manifested.
It even began to shift how I felt despite the work’s intensity.
I started making more time for myself.
The time I took back would be laughable now, but at the time, it was a major step in changing my health. My mental health did improve some, but it wasnt unti I made the move to Portugal that I had time to process all of it and really make significant change.
That move cost me salary, status and the career path I had worked 30 years to build. It also didn’t improve everything immediately. I couldn’t pin-point the one thing to give the credit since I was pulling so many levers.
I still fast every day and have continued all the additions described above. I added yoga and resistance training too.
My diet has been very consistent and all the changes continue to help me make better choices. The one area that changed the most was my sleep and I did feel better physically because I was getting the rest and effects of consistent sleep.
What You Can Do If You Can’t Leave
One of the universal feelings is being overwhelmed.
For those of you that rarely have this feeling, be grateful. For everyone else, myself included, take a breath.
Many of you carry a job that is hard because of the money and demands of life.
You can’t leave.
Caring for someone else can be an even greater challenge, especially when added on top of the job and money.
There are even times when simple challenges can become crippling. So what can we do?
The first thing to do is be honest and answer some questions.
What Keeps Asking More of Me?
This is often where we need to be honest.
Sometimes the thing asking more of you is you, and sometimes it’s a child, a parent or a mortgage that can’t move.
It is important to learn to be honest and realize that we have more say in it than we admit.
Sometimes not agreeing to something that sounds good is preservation.
Canceling a cyclical commitment when you have a chance to renew might be the needed decision despite the guilt.
What could become smaller, shared or renegotiated?
Take some time and think creatively about your situation.
What are the changes you can make to minimize your stress?
Ask for help or see if the challenge can be shared.
Give something up and make time for yourself or for recovery.
Where can recovery become regular?
Any time that is set aside for you is only beneficial if it is guarded.
You have to build around this new habit, not drop it every time something comes up.
This might be the most important habit to start building.
Changing the conditions you work under can help too.
In one study, 141 organizations first reorganized their work, then moved to a four-day week at full pay. After a 6-month trial, employees reported less burnout and better mental and physical health, and the gains were linked to better sleep, less fatigue and feeling more able to do the job.2
The organizations chose to take part and the results are from employee surveys. I read it as encouraging, not proof.
The Best Way Forward
You may be thinking. I don’t have time and that’s why I am so stressed.
The thought to add one more thing is daunting.
It is always easier to say than to implement.
The best way to start this process is to make one small change this week.
Take a walk in the morning when you wake up.
Go get a coffee on Tuesday by yourself.
Make a change you have been thinking about for the last year.
Eliminate something that isn’t serving you. Then leave that space for you.
Start small.
How Stress Has Changed
Every day is a challenge.
It throws itself at you the same way it always has.
The difference for me is my habits and priorities have changed.
Making health a priority brings more benefits than you would ever imagine.
When everything stops, I don’t have the scaries or impending doom.
The answer of how to get here isn’t the one people want to hear.
This has been a process. The difficult days still remain.
My reactions to challenging days are different.
When I get in my head, I know most of it is the narrative I am adding myself.
I give myself the time to process, without immediately focusing on the problems.
Sometimes I go for a walk. Talk it through with my wife or a friend.
I make time to sit with my thoughts and process.
The change is that now I am able to act.
When everything stops now, I don’t collapse the way I used to.
What have you accepted as normal that deserves another look?
If this feels familiar, I write about food, strength, sleep and living well.
I’ll send you the next issue for free.
Live well,
Nathan
Educational only, not medical advice. Consult your physician before changing your health, diet, or exercise routine.
SOURCES
Cohen et al., 2012, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Healthy adults who had lived through a long-term stressor were more likely to catch a cold, and their cells responded less to the signal that switches inflammation off. Done on: 276 healthy adults in the first study (125 men, 151 women, average age 29) and 82 in the second (39 men, 43 women, average age 37, with 79 analyzed), all exposed to a cold virus. Stress was measured by interview about the past year. It did not study autoimmune disease. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22474371/
Fan et al., 2025, Nature Human Behaviour. Employees at organizations that reorganized their work and moved to a four-day week at full pay reported less burnout and better mental and physical health after a 6-month trial. The gains were linked to better sleep, less fatigue and a greater sense of being able to do the job. Done on: 2,896 employees at 141 organizations in Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, the UK and the USA, compared with 12 control companies. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-025-02259-6
Well done for recognizing this and making the changes.